Life is like a country song.

Update: Just for the record, when I started this post, it was not going to be another "I have a dream..." post. It was actually going to be about the redeeming properties of the song "Take this job and shove it." Somewhere through the writing and the edits (which are incomplete with respect to grammar and punctuation) the topic went off to never-never land. Or the country. Which might be one in the same. ~T.

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♫ ♪ "Take this job and shove it..."♫ ♪
♫ ♪ "I was country, when country wasn't cool... "♫ ♪
♫ ♪ "Don't it make my brown eyes blue....." ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ "Some day, I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'."♫ ♪
♫ ♪ "My home's in Alabama, no matter where I lay my head..." ♫ ♪
♫ ♪ "Jesus, take the wheel.'' ♫ ♪

I don't routinely listen to country music, but there is something to be said for a country ballad. A sweet story, set to music. Country music contains a lot of truth. And simplicity. And a message that the best parts of life are the little things.

Early in life, my "dream" was to go back to the country. I wanted another shot at having a horse, at the space, and the silence. I orignially wanted to go back to East Tennessee. I love the rolling hills, the hardwood trees and the change of seasons. I thought my grandparents farm property would always be in the family, and that someday I would be able to claim some of it as my own. Some of the property is still in the family, but, the part that was in my dream has long since been sold. At the point that it was sold, I kind of gave up on the dream. My expectations were shattered. It's only recently that I am beginning to realize that the dream didn't go away, only the property did. I am daring to let myself reclaim the dream.

This morning, I heard a country music song, and watched country music video. I wish I could tell you the title, but I can't, because it's my song, and it happened in my head. I am not sure where it came from, and I certainly don't have the skills to translate the music to something that can be shared. I can describe the scene, but there are no lyrics. But, I know there is singing. It's a power ballad. I can see it and hear it my head.

It starts in some big city office, with the middle aged professional mom sitting behind a desk, surrounded by pictures of kids. She stares a computer screen, but her expression shows that she's exasperated, and wondering if this is what it is all about. Cut away to a scene in a car. She's negotiating traffic, then pulling out of a fast food drive through, and passing out burgers to the back seat, while on the way to the evening activity, where she cheers on her child on in soccer, or football, or whatever it is. Cut away to mom and kids entering a dark house, unlocking the door, and heading off in different directions. Her husband sleeps in the recliner, while she folds clothes, and cleans a kitchen, and tucks kids into bed. The video pans around to show a nice home, with nice things, but all in kind of a dull, muted light, that is indicative of the lack of joy. It's not unhappiness, it just lacks joy. And laughter. Fade to black...

Cut away to the same middle aged woman staring out her office window, while folks in power suits chatter on behind her, while they examine graphs, and charts and point at computer screens. Out the window, she sees something bright, something that is symbolism for joy. It is a catalyst. She stands up, and walks out. Everyone looking at her like she's lost her mind.

Cut away back to the house. But the rooms are brighter, because light is pouring in, and spotlighting packing boxes, and through the windows you can tell there is a giant yard sale going on outside. Middle age woman walks, with purpose, down the drive and hammers the "for sale by owner" sign into the ground in the front yard. She turns and walks toward the yard sale activities with resolve, with purpose and without blinking.

Cut away to mom and kids in a beat up SUV, kids giggling in the back, holding a box full of baby chickens, driving down a dirt road in the country, and a turning into a long gravel driveway. The SUV is pulling a u-haul trailer. The SUV stops in front of an old, country house. It needs some work, but it is homey, and white-washed bright. And as mom and kids unload the u-haul, there is laughter. There is joy. Dad walks out of the house, holding a paint brush or some tools or something. He's not out of the picture, he's just not a significant part of the change for some reason.

The picture cuts away again -- to whatever the catalyst was. The brightness that brought about the courage, and determination to make the change. The picture fades to black, before we know what it was.

My song, and my video, tells a story about walking away from the complications, going to the simple things. It communicates that the simple things are not always easy. Sometimes they are a lot harder than the complications.

Obviously, I don't work in a big city office, or wear power suits. It's not totally me, but its symbolic of my life. I am wondering when (if!) I will ever see the brightness, will I find MY catalyst. Will I have the guts to pursue the dream? I hope so.

I want to find the tune, and write the lyrics, and experience the joy.