I'm MELTING....

Help! I'm melting! Everyone can see it!  Things are coming apart at the seams, and I may not be able to hold it together.  I am spread too thin, and I am not doing a good job at anything.

It's the time of year.  Stress.  There are more things to do than there are hours in the day.  What I choose to do to relax, or take time for me,  is like punishment, because I am not doing things that I need to do.

It's this time of year when I am always facing making a gut wrenching choice:  Do I disappoint/shortchange, a couple of people, who I know will love me anyway, or, do I disappoint bunches of people, by letting things fall apart?   I feel like I am melting, when really, really, what I want to do is what I learned REALLY happened to the Wicked Witch (who, as it turns out, wasn't wicked at all); let everyone think I've melted, and then disappear.
 
OK. That is not true either.  But I am feeling the need to run for cover. 

The funny thing is, sometime shortly after the most recent pre-teen hissy fit about the amount of time I was NOT spending with them, I told my girls that I was thinking it was time to step back, and make some changes, and give up some time killing extra-curricular activities that I have.  They were aghast. Where I thought I'd get three cheers, I got a resounding "Noooo!".  I was shocked.

I asked them why, and they said that the knew I loved these things, and that they liked me being involved.  They felt proud when someone would ask "Is that your mom?".  Ok. Wow.

But the fact is, I may have reached my limits.  Not just in time, but limits in my ability to do good.  I am a good doer.  I've done a lot.  I do a lot.  I am not doing a good job in leading.  A good leader would not be DOING as much as I am. A good leader would be having it done.

I feel a little better writing this down. Not sure why, but I guess it's because I have compiled my thoughts.