Identity Crisis: Selfishness or Discovery

Change happens. It is inevitable. But what happens when change changes who you are?

Example: You meet this person. You fall in love and they fall in love with you, and who you are. You get married, you build a life together, a home, you change. You have children, you partner, you change. Your children grow, you move to a new home, you change. Your parents age, you become the caretaker, you change. You get a promotion, your responsibilities increase, you change. Your financial situation changes, you make different choices, you change. It goes on and on and on and on.... and the changes don't stop.

And then one day, there is an argument, a fight, a discussion and the words are spoken. "You haven't always been that way." It is true.

All of sudden you look back and wonder what happened to the person you were. You realize that somewhere in all those changes, you no longer know who you are and the person on the other side of the table is still looking for who you were.

So the search for identity begins. Maybe it is not so much a search, as it is an examination. Do I like who I am now? Is this the definition of a midlife crisis? Is the search to understand this new sense of self selfish?