I am your biggest fan ... but, you know, you could have done better.

I am my kids biggest fan.  I don't miss an opportunity to brag.  Sorry folks, I know it's obnoxious and all, but it is what it is.  My kids are smart, talented, and beautiful. As someone so aptly put it, I hit the trifecta.  I am blessed many times over.

The flip side of that is that I am also their biggest critics.  I don't mean to be.  I just recognize where improvements could have been made, and try to help them see where they may have cut a corner, or something they could do better the next time.  To them, though, it often seems like I am shooting down their accomplishments by talking about what they could have done better.

I want the best for them.  As parents, most of us come to realize that the only way for them to get the best out anything is to go and get if for themselves.  We can provide the best schools, the best teachers, the best opportunities, the best "things",  but parenting is really about teaching your kids to work hard for what they want, and to use all the tools and advantages they have. Some things will be really easy.  Some things will be really hard.  

What I don't want is for my kids to think things will be handed to them, or that the deserve things that they didn't earn.  I see signs of this sometimes, and I am really not sure where it came from.  Is it society?  I honestly don't think it came from me. Expecting something you didn't earn leads to hurt and disappointment. But (I chronically have a "but"), that also doesn't mean that it's wrong to give them something if you can, just so long as they have the proper attitude about receiving it.

So,  kids (my natural kids and my adopted kids) , know that I am so very proud of you!  And also know that I always be there to help you do better. Sometimes, even when you don't want me to be.