For the love of happy.

I have a problem. It haunts me and it sometimes makes me a little crazy. I like to make everyone happy. It is an impossibility, and I know that. I am not sure what made me that way, but I am always trying to find the path of least resistance. Some people call it diplomacy. I am beginning to think it should be called delusional.

On recent group choir trip, I lost it a couple of times. "It" being my diplomacy. In a heartbeat, I went from even keeled, straight to irrational. I'm sure lack of sleep and fatigue and physical exhaustion played into it. I owe the choir czar an apology, not for why I lost it, but for the way I handled it - more like a 4 year old having a tantrum than an adult that could totally justify why I felt some things were unfair, and the fact that I was personally insulted by the way some things were communicated. In the end, the "issues" that I lost it over are immaterial -- it all worked out. It's the why's and how's that I have issue with. I plan to address it.

Now, that being said.... I had a lot to do with planning the trip for the group, via a travel agency, and there is soooo much I could have done better. I learned a lot. I left too many decisions to be made "on the fly", and it's hard to communicate with a large group that is spread out. More than that, there is soooo much that the people who got paid to plan the trip could have pointed out and helped me address. So, once again, life has taught me a lesson.

Overall the trip was fun. I think everyone had fun. There were no problems that created safety issues. All kids were in good shape at all times. We had a two full days of full "group" stuff, and two full days of time for small groups to go in different directions. I think it was a nice balance.

I love this choir group. I will continue to try to diplomatically do what is best for the group. Even when it is delusional.