This topic is on my mind because of how my day started. Like most normal people, when I wake up in the morning after sleeping 6 or 7 hours, one of the first stops is a bathroom. In my house, I have 2.5 to choose from, and the choice is determined by occupancy, and location relative to the coffee. Generally, the need for coffee is more pressing... TMI....
This morning, barely awake, and without the proper infusion of caffeine into my system, after I had taken care of all the necessities, I run had to screaming through the house searching for a plunger. Injuries occurred. There was an obstacle course of laundry baskets, doorways, bipolar dogs attacking, and such to navigate. And I didn't have on my glasses.
Mind you , I was not the culprit of the need for the plunger. I was the victim.
Anyway... toilets. In it's infinite wisdom, the federal government (or someone equally as brilliant, like Barrak Obama's 2nd cousin, Paula Abduhla ) decided that toilets should use as little as water as possible when flushed. This is a great concept. I am all for saving the earth, conservation of water, and other natural resources, and tree hugging, as long as we are reasonable about it. Reasonable, in my mind, means that the toilet flushes consistently when used properly. Here is where the problem comes in.
Because of water saving mandate, it is necessary to keep a plunger readily available in our house. Some think that saving water = saving money. I disagree. I think the medical expenses incurred as I almost kill myself rushing through the house screaming "WHERE IS THE PLUNGER?!?!? THE TOILET IS GOING TO OVER FLOW!!!" is much more expensive than the cost of water.
Now, if you are easily grossed out, just close this window and come back later.
I warned you.
OK... still reading....Here ya go.
Simple concept: Small people = small poops. Large people = large poops. It's not rocket science. I have large people in my house. It's genetics. It's just the way it is. So, we've had to institute a one for two wipe rule. One flush for every two wipes. If you feel the need to wipe a third time, you have two choices: 1.reach behind you and flush first, or 2. make sure the plunger is close by. In my opinion, this is unreasonable because if you don't follow this rule toilet does not flush properly. The third wipe does you in. The problem is, that the three wipe toilet clog is not obvious. The 3 wiper finishes their business, and goes along their merry way. It's the next visitor to the porcelain bowl that gets the gift. That is what happened to me this morning.
I have a simple solution. Can't there be a dial on the toilet? Kind of like the knob for the hot water? The further you turn it (to a certain point), the more water flows through the pipe. My toilet knob would have setting Number 1 and setting Number 2. Simple, huh? Turn the knob to Number 2 for number 2? Or maybe there should be three knob settings.
Anyway, it frustrates me to no end that I have to have a daily evaluation of poop, and that I have to have conversations with my family about the toilet, and that it is important to always know the location of the plunger. Just give more water, on demand, please. It's really ok.
Oh, and I want Paula Abduhla to pay for a pedicure. I stubbed my toe, and my polish is chipped. See, water conservation is going to cost me a fortune.
No comments:
Post a Comment