Happy Fathers Day, Mom.

I am a statistic. My parents divorced before I started preschool, and my dad was absent the vast majority of my life, and when he was present, there was drama, turmoil, and hurt. Lots of hurt.

And then there's mom. Mom took care of things. Mom is who held it all together for us, supported us, and even covered for our dad. She played sports in the backyard, taught us to drive and how to mow the yard, and dished out rewards and punishments, just to name a few of her many parenting jobs. Because she mostly played both roles -- that of the mom and the dad -- I generally get her a "fathers day" card.

This year is the first year my Dad's physically been gone from this earth. There are many fathers day past that I didn't talk to my dad, probably because I had no idea where in the world he was. But this fathers day, he was heavily on my mind. Maybe that's why this year I didn't give my mom her father's day card. Not because she didn't deserve the acknowledgement, but because this year I was coming to terms with what would never happen --that my dad would never earn one of those cushy Hallmark cards that talked about how he'd been there throughout the years. His years were up, and I got very few, if any of them.

It is with this in mind that I tell people that fathering is not about DNA. It's not even that much about gender. It's about being there. It's about guiding. It's about love, and respect, and stability. It's about being genuine, and good. I am fortunate that I had a few people in my life that filled this role at various times; times when I needed some male guidance, or just a role model. Most of those folks are not in my life today, but I thank them all the same, and wish them happy fathers day.

So, if you happen upon a kid who's a little screwed up, and you've got something to give, please share. It might make a difference you cannot imagine.

And, happy fathers day, Mom. You are my hero.